Escaped Thoughts

Sooooo, I am having probably one of the most fantastic days ever! Seems to be more of those lately. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I was about to lose my mind being at home all the time with nowhere to go. I love my step brother and loved watching him but I NEEDED A LIFE! We all knew it lol. 

So my name is on the insurance for the car! I start my new job Monday! I have a crush on a pretty cool chick. There’s a lot of that weird link stuff goin on like, she shares the same birthday as my gramma and her son is similar to my step brother in race and intelligence, her sisters middle name is the same as mine, blue eyes. You know all that stuff you get excited about when you like someone at first. :P 

Losing weight, got a job, got a car, got a crush, got plans for my 21st birthday to go to Vegas in October! This is a year of change, hope and inspiration! I am loving me and the people who helped get me here!

YAY!!

Today is one of those days. You think too much, get yourself into trouble with someone else or yourself. Sometimes it is tremendously difficult to take the words of things said or experienced lightly, but the meaning of them deeply. What I mean is, if someone were to insult you, take the words for what they are, words. Take the meaning a little deeper - “why is this person saying this?”, “they are angry”, “anger is an emotion that everyone is allowed to feel”, “we all aren’t rational at every moment”, “what can i do to ease their pain?”. You can learn so many new things when you take it a little deeper.

Today is a hard day. I am looking too deeply into the words and actions of others. It’s a quiet day for me. I am not interacting as much and when I finally do, it is in accusatory tones and tears and anger and hurt. I am finding all the wrong and pain and meanness in the world. What is the difference between days like today and days like yesterday? Yesterday, I went to a baseball game with my grandmother (not a huge sports fan but it was way more fun than when I was a kid and got easily bored), I stuck flyers for a Renaissance Festival on cars’ windshields, went out to eat at a great local fish place, then ended the day in the Old Market drinking a minty chocolaty drink while she sipped minty tea. We sat outside so I could smoke of course. It was a beautiful and relaxing day. 

My mother, brother and I call these days the Olive Garden days. A long time ago she dated a man that we all, but she did not, realize was a crappy guy. I mean really damn crappy to her and to everyone around him. He probably just didn’t have his shit straight, plus we had just left a super emotional situation before entering that one with him. So one day, it was absolutely stunning outside and we (mom, the boyfriend, my brother and myself) decided to hit Olive Garden. POW! SMACK! BOOM! We hit that place with booming laughs, serenading giggles, funny memories, cheese on the salad, fizzy drinks, and smiles the whole airy, light, amazing day. The reason we single this day out for a title, is because too many days were bad with him in our lives, that that’s the one good one that really sticks out to all of us. 

I had an Olive Garden day yesterday. What happened between then and now? I could list out every step between then and now, sure, but really you cannot avoid every little step, so big picture wise…what’s the deal? Is it me? My head? Are we just supposed to have good and bad days in equal or not-so-equal numbers?

My goal today is to figure out how to make tomorrow amazing. Tomorrow will be an Olive Garden day.